I need advice on how to have with my boyfriend successfully after many failed attempts.?

I recently introduced toys into my relationship with my boyfriend. However the toys don't seem to live up to their name as they are too wide for my boyfriends .And i cant use my because i have recently had an operation which would allow me to have easier because my would be straight. However this operation failed and now it looks like a hook. These toys that I have been using just tear the skin of my boyfriends . I recently have been using the G18 akimbos and it seems to spray his with holes, i have thought about using fmj, but i have heard that it can rip a hole the size of Africa into my boyfriends . If anybody has any advice on this subject to help me have with my boyfriend, (please dont give me any tips on , if i want to go i will use the M21 EBR toy to shank my boyfriend).